Benji’s Cheese Toast

A lot of people have been asking about the adoption lately. The thing is, not a whole heck of a lot is going to happen between now and when we get a picture of the child that is referred to us, at least nothing we see. We did get notice that our dossier has been translated and is now in the hands of IHNFA (government organization). We’ve been told that after it gets approved, which can take 1-2 months, we’ll be put on the waiting list to get a child.

You might start hearing the phrase “we’ve been told” an awful lot in the coming months. Because that’s how it works. You are told what to expect, but you’re also told to expect things to change. For reasons beyond our control, their control, who knows whose control. Even after getting this far, there is much that is mysterious about the entire process. It certainly doesn’t look the way I originally expected.

Which leads me to Benji’s cheese toast.

Benji looks at this world in a different way, and he approaches a sandwich in a very different way. Some of you may look at this picture and see a sandwich eaten from the middle, with crust and a bit of cheese remaining. Some of you, if you look even closer, might see a bunny rabbit. You know how you can find picture in the clouds if you stare long enough? Well, Benji pointed out you can see a bunny in his toast. He ate his hole in the shape of a bunny. Though I’m not sure that was his intent, it was his whimsical result.

A few months ago, when someone asked about the girl we were adopting from Honduras, I could give them a nicely mapped out plan. She would most likely be under a year old. We could specify on our application age 6 months to 2 years, and we were told we’d wait about 2-3 months from referral to the final visit to bring our baby home. That meant we could potentially get a referral for a girl who is 6 months old, and she’d be 9 months old when we brought her home. But I read the following sentence on a blog today, written by a woman who just adopted a girl from Honduras: “The youngest children are about two when the adoption is finalized.” But what about the little baby I’ve been imagining? Possibly buying cute little outfits for? Three words: Benji’s cheese toast.

I would have said we’d probably be matched in the Spring of 2012, according to the times we’ve been given. If all went according to the Meredith Davis schedule, we might rent an apartment in Honduras so we wouldn’t have to leave our baby behind for 3 months in foster care between the first and second visit. That same blog revealed that it took 4 months between this woman’s first and second visit, and on her second visit she stayed 4 weeks before bringing her daughter home. What happened to my tidy Davis Honduran Vacation/Bring Home a Baby Plan? Three words: Benji’s cheese toast.

So things may not look the way I thought they would. We set out to adopt, just like Benji set out to eat a piece of cheese toast. He started eating from the middle, an unlikely place to start. We started our adoption last spring, when our kids were ages 15, 12 and 9. An unlikely place to start. When he was done, Benji’s cheese toast did not look like you’d expect a consumed piece of cheese toast to look. When we’re done with this adoption, it may not look the way I thought. But Benji ended up with something pretty cool. Picture-worthy, whimsical, surprising. I have no doubt our daughter will be the same.

She’s probably been born by now. Will I be twisting her dark hair into pig tails come spring 2012? I hope so, but there’s only one thing I can say with all certainty. Something “we’ve been told” that I cannot, will not doubt. We’re to pursue a little girl in Honduras that doesn’t have a family. I’ll keep staring ahead, waiting for the picture to emerge, trusting the one who called us here.

4 Responses to “Benji’s Cheese Toast”

  1. Gayle Sheehan

    How is it that the little ones do so much for our perspective? Thanks for sharing, Meredith. What a terrific journey you are all on. An adventure from God that clearly is going to give as much to you all as you will give to your precious new daughter. Praying with you.

  2. abwestrick

    A wonderful post, Meredith! I’d have responded sooner, but Hurricane Irene took out our electricity on Aug. 27 and we didn’t get it back until Sept. 4. I’m still catching up…

    This post brought to mind the process of writing a novel and people asking, “How’s the novel coming along?” They ask for months… for a year, perhaps… and then they stop asking. They have no idea how long it takes to write a novel! And for most of us, we have no idea how involved the adoption process is. As frustrating as it might be for you to wait… and wait… and re-think your own time-table, for those of us who get to read your blog, we’re delighted simply to be along with you on this journey. Hang in there, and keep us up to date — however long it takes!


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